Friday, December 31, 2010

No one thinks like I do...

Well, here I am - in my diaper and my 2011 sash.  For my New Year's resolution, I decided to start writing a blog to release all of the thoughts and feelings I have.

Now, I know you're wondering about the title: "No one thinks like I do."  Of course not.  Everyone is an individual.  We all have our own beliefs and views on life.  We all travel to the beat of a different drum.  But I AM different.  Way different.  Why?

No one thinks like I do.

Seriously.  Nobody's brain works like mine does. I have these quirkly observations, off-color jokes, off-off-color jokes.  Sometimes, they are bizarre and twisted.  Sometimes, they are just wrong.  The difference between me and the next-Manson?  Nobody took the "no-one-thinks-like-i-do.blogspot .com" name on this site.

I have all these thoughts and ideas and jokes in the workplace, and I figured a blog would be the best way to express it.  A co-worker, who moonlights as a hitman, told me that is what Facebook is for.  But when a person logs on to Facebook and they see the recent news, maybe they don't want to get hit in the face with my brainfruit. If they choose to get hit in the face, they gotta come here.

My goal?  Money.  At the end of this year I will take all my blog entries and put it in a book.  Then, after hardcover and paperback sales, it will be made into a movie (3-D and IMAX versions, too).   Depending on how it does overseas, there may be a sequel.  By 2014 I will be blogging from the Caribbean.

The way I type is the way I talk.  To some of you reading this, it may sound just like I'm sitting next to your PC, or that I'm cuddled up next to you while you're on your laptop on the couch/bed/bearskin rug, or that I'm in the passenger seat as you read your smartphone as you drive on the thruway.  What the frigg?  DON'T read your phone while you're driving!

Lastly, I will try to clean up my language in the blog.  You may see a lot of friggs and poops and darns here instead of the actual curse words.  I think it may be more creative to find euphemisms for the standard doody a person would say.

See?  Doody?