Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Joe and Teresa and Kim and Pee-Wee

It's been a long time since I posted something, but that doesn't mean I haven't had ideas.

A few months ago I was at the deli waiting for my sandwich when I glanced over at the magazine rack and saw this:

It's a photo of Joe and Teresa (I thought the same thing but, yes, that is a woman) and their "over-the-top second wedding."  

I don't really care about those gossippy (did I invent a word?) celebrity magazines.  But there was one big thing that caught my eye.  Look again at the cover and tell me if you see it.

Well, did you find it?  Keep looking...

So, did you see it?  No?  Well, neither did I.  The thing that I was amazed at in this cover story is that it never tells who these two people are.  Which means the editors, and the degenerate readers, think everybody knows who Joe and Teresa are.

It turns out she is one of those Real Housewives of New Jersey (or Real Desperate).  That issue was from mid-September.  

Then I saw this one last week, dated October 25.

I'm serious, people.  That is a woman.  Honest!  And she has an "exclusive" tell-all.  Wow!  It's going to take a while to digest all the secrets and all the juicy gossip that they are going to dish out.

Guess what?  Here is the November 1 issue, that came out only a week later:

Geez Louise!   Again?  It makes you wonder if these women publish the magazine (and I swear it wouldn't surprise me if they announced that all three of these women are really men in drag).  But the sad thing is, the magazines need articles to publish.  The reality shows need publicity to get viewers.  They feed off of each other so much that they do become what they are: famous people and best-selling magazines.

Come on.  If no one else cares to publish your article or photos, does it automatically become an "exclusive" feature?

Which brings me to that last cover.  Look at the top right corner.

Oh yes, the fake marriage.  Here is a woman whose claim to fame was a porn tape (where a rapper went pee-pee on her) and now she's on top of the world.  Why?  Because she has all these cameras following her for her reality show.  And she feeds the magazines with "exclusives" and the magazines build interest in her show.  And it makes money for everyone.

Here is one last set of photos.

The top one shows Paul Reubens dressed up as Pee Wee Herman.  When people see him dressed in that grey suit, they know he is an actor playing a fictional character.  If Pee-Wee says he is buying a car, building a house or getting married, we don't really believe it because he is "in character."

In the bottom photo we see Kim.  I think we should start thinking of her as the "female Pee-Wee."  Whenever we see her in front of a camera, she is playing a character and improvising, just like Reubens does with Pee-Wee.  If she says she is getting married, she's not really in love.  It's just her character.  If she gets a divorce, it's just pretend.  If there's a camera in front of her, don't believe anything.

Think about it:  did she fall in love with a guy, decide to get married, and THEN have it filmed for her show?  Or did she decide it would be a good plotline if she got married, made arrangements to get all these sponsorships (a reported $10,000,000 cost for the wedding) and then find an "actor" to play her boyfriend.

One of the things I read was that her husband wasn't comfortable with cameras following them throughout their days.  Really?  That is part of her act.  How can't you like that?

The sad thing is, a lot of average people who want to be reality stars will make some bad choices.  Would Anna Nicole be alive today if she didn't have to act out her life in front of her cameras?  (Would Anna Nicole be able to make a living if they didn't follow her?)  Would the Octomom have had so many children if she knew no one had any interest in seeing her?  There was another "Real Housewife" who was lost at sea recently and had to be rescued.   Really?  Lost with all those cameramen?   And then there is the mother who sent Dr. Phil a video of her disciplining her son with hot sauce.  Why?  To get on TV and become famous (or infamous).

I think it should all come full circle.  The media should start peeing on Kim at the end of her career, just like Ray J did at the beginning of hers.