The past season has been a great one for East Aurora theatergoers. Namely because for the first time in a while I have not been in any of the productions (my last show was Spring 2009)
So, we have the Acting Awards. The Aurora Players Awards. The Roycroft Pavilion Awards. The East Aurora Stage Awards. There has to be a catchier name for this. And I'm the kind of guy to look for one.
Let's look at the Grammy Awards. The statue has a little gramophone on it, so it's shortened to Grammy. Ours are plastic (see photo below with our 2008 winners). The Plasties? The Plexies? The Lucitees?
Plexiglas is Polymethyl methacrylate, better known by its abbreviation, PMMA. How about the Pummas?
The background for the name of the Oscar Awards is up in the air, but everything points to it looking like someone, from the first husband of Bette Davis to King Oscar II of Sweden. If we had a person on our statue we could have a contest to see who it looks like. But since it's just a flat surface we would have to name it after someone flat. The Keira Knightley Awards? (Ooooh - Ricky Gervais would be so proud of me).
According to their website, the Emmy Award was originally going to be called "Ike" after the television iconoscope tube, but they wanted something that didn't remind people of Eisenhower. An engineer suggested "Immy," a term commonly used for the early image orthicon camera. This was later modified to "Emmy." So, we could name it after something used in the theater. Curtains? Fake brick walls? Pancake make-up? Hairspray? Spotlights? Bloated Egos? The only unique things that East Aurora has are mulled cider and everything done in Roycroft fonts.
The Tony Awards are given for Broadway productions and are named after Antoinette Perry, who founded Perry's Ice Cream. I made that last part up. She was an actress and co-founder of American Theater Wing, who presents the awards. If only we could name it after someone great. The Roiks (After Roycroft)? Naw, sounds like a disease. The Hubbards (after Elbert Hubbard)? Sounds like a produce market. The Woodsies? Cute, clever, but may be a wee bit egotistical (bloated ego?).
The Obie Awards are given for off-Broadway productions in New York.
Hmmm. Off-Broadway = O.B. = Obie.
I think we have a winner! Aurora Players = A.P. = Apey.
Presenting, the GOLDEN APEY AWARDS
We'll just get a few gorilla figurines, nail then to bases, spraypaint them and stick the Players' logo on it. Brilliant.
Now let's see how those 2008 winners would look with their new awards.
Awesome!
Now, let's award this year's statues. The ballots have to be postmarked by January 21. Since the date has passed I can tell you who I chose without influencing other voters (like my opinion really matters).
Featured Actress
With her singing, acting and comic timing:
Jessica Goodison, "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum"
Featured Actor
At the Oscars they call this a "supporting" actor. As the sidekick to Pseudolus:
Chris Rimes, "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum"
Lead Actress
When you got a husband and three sons fighting, you need a good matriarch.
Sue Musial, "The Lion in Winter"
Lead Actor
Three strong leads in this category.
Michael Starzynski, "Moon Over Buffalo"
There you have it. One note: Ann Grimaldi was nominated twice in the Lead Actress category for two comedic roles, and I think her voting might get split because of it.
These will be awarded this Saturday, January 29. We'll see how I did. Oh, one more thing. You would not believe how wrong I got these in the past. One year I was 0-for-4 in my picks. I really hope I didn't jinx anyone...
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