Two words: Bikini Partylite™

Sometimes you can take two separate things and make one great thing.

Macaroni + cheese

Jello + shots

Jello + girls wrestling

Now, I present a concept so fresh that someone will steal it, put on one of these shows and have a piece done on them by CNN : Bikini Partylite™. (Yes, I do want the trademark for it.)

Now, we all know what Partylite is.  It's this company that has parties at someone's home where you can buy candles and candle cups and candle holders and other candle accessories (do people really go through so many candles that they need to replenish them so often?).  These parties are usually held by a hostess for other women.

Well, hold on to your aprons because Bikini Partylite™ is a party for men!  

At a standard Partylite get-together, the woman might nibble on appetizers and drink white wine.

At a Bikini Partylite™ get-together, the guys have wings, pizza, beer, maybe shots.  The hostess will come out in casual L.L. Bean attire - clamdiggers, sweater tied around her shoulders.  There is some small-talk and the guys are shown tealights and votive candles (small potatoes).  After a certain amount of time - say, $30 worth of merchandise sold, the hostess excuses herself.

When she returns, she is wearing a sarong (sarong, but so right!) or some other wrap.  Here, the guys may take another shot.  The music may get turned up and the lights may be dimmed.  Now, we start talking about pillars.  When another level is reached - say, $100 - the wrap gets peeled off to showcase a bikini in a skimpy robe.  We hit the scented candles and jars.  When another dollar level is reached, another piece of clothing is removed.  (It should be noted that, unlike a standard Partylite gathering where items are ordered and paid for later, the Bikini Partylite™ shindigs are cash, that night only.)

The hostess may pull down a shoulder strap and say "If you order tonight, I can take 10% off all three-wick candles.  Who wants me to take it off tonight?"

Faster than you can say "burning at both ends," the bills are in the air.  And, it's a win-win-win situation.  The hostess gets money.  The wife gets a gift that sort of looks like some thought and planning was put into it and the guy gets the same thing he would at a strip club.

I won't even describe what the hostess does with tapered candles.  Let's just say I bought Grandma a dozen sconces for her birthday...