THE HUGH HEFNER DATING GAME

Hey, guess what I read? Hugh Hefner is getting married.

Hugh Hefner is 84 years old. His fiance, Crystal Harris, is a 24 years old model. That's a 60-year difference. To me, that's quite a lot. Do you know how long six decades are?

That's ten years before John Kennedy was elected president.

North and South Korea just started slapping each other around.

Desi loved Lucille Ball, but they were still a year away from starting "I Love Lucy."

Charles Shultz first started drawing "Peanuts."  That was a lo-o-o-ong time ago.

Hugh Hefner is getting married. He is 84-years old. You know who else is 84? Dick Van Dyke, who was tripping over an ottoman in black-and-white in the early 60s. Another TV star from the 60s was Mayberry's Sheriff, Andy Griffith. Mel Brooks was writing for "Your Show of Shows" in the 1950s. Jerry Lewis was headlining with Dean Martin in the mid-40s. And Harry Dean Stanton was scaring people on film as early as 1959.  Joe Paterno is still coaching at Penn State, where he holds the record for most Division I wins.

So, Hef is marrying a 24-year old.  There's a lot of 24-year old actresses.  Mischa Barton and Amanda Bynes are 24.  So is that girl from Glee, Michelle Lea.  Cute little Carey Mulligan was nominated for an Oscar for "An Education."  And we can't forget the number one recording artist today: Lady Gaga.  Last but not least, the "Sexiest Woman in the World," Megan Fox, is also 24.

What am I getting at?  If Hugh Hefner can get engaged to Crystal Harris, why can't those guys hook up with one of those girls?  So let's play the HUGH HEFNER DATING GAME.

First off, grab a pair of dice.  If you can get one of each color, great.  If not, you can take the left one on the roll as the "guy" one and the right one as the "girl" one.  Or you can take one die and roll it twice.  If that's too much, just randomly pick a pair of numbers from one to six.  Geez.

Then, find your couple based on the chart below.



Say you roll snake eyes.  Dick Van Dyke can go clubbing with Amanda Bynes.  Box cars?  I wonder where the future Mrs. Megan Fox Paterno is registered.

Seriously, if you saw Carey Mulligan walking with Harry Dean Stanton, you'd figure a nursing school graduate was walking a patient around the home.

Here - let me do EVERYTHING for you. Click right on the dice to get your couple. Again, the left one is the stud. The right one is the chick.




Or maybe...just maybe, I got it all wrong. Maybe it IS love.

Or a publicity gimmick.  I mean, Hef did get me to write this post, didn't he?